Struggles

Recently I have felt very, in a way lonely. Those that were my friends seemed so distant, and I felt like I didn't exist most of the time. I just felt like I needed something, but I didn't know what. Last night was when I said enough. I have had micrains (horrible headaches) nearly everyday, and I was so angry. I went to my room and wanted to be alone. Mum came in worried because i looked ill she said, glaced eyes. She said she needed to wash her hair the next day, and I said there is mouse left for your hair the bottle is broken. She got annoyed because it was late and so left angrily to buy some. I was so SO angry, I wanted to rip everything apart. The worst thing was I didn't know why! I started smashing my head on my bed, biting and claw-ring at it going mad, I couldn't control what I was doing then I just broke down into tears.

I crawled into my bed, hugging myself. So alone. And decided to go and turn off the light to get some sleep. That's when the fear came, I was so convinced something was behind the door just about to jump up. I finally plucked up the courage to open the door but wherever I went to escape the fear I felt like I knew something was there to get me. I was terrified. I ran into my room to scared to leave the door open to scared to have it closed and not see the monster coming.

Thats when I prayed to my God, I asked him to make me not so alone to protect me... I pleaded with him.
The next day God provided. Now my friend comes to church with me, and has made me not so alone. She has one of the most beautiful hearts I have ever seen. And I pray that God will be with her when she needs him.

The lesson of this is sometimes we just need to drop our pride and ask for help. And those that constantly ask for help need to see that God will provide, but only when the time is right and you completely appreciate his blessing. Having my friend back, is all I needed. Someone who understands. <3 Sometimes its the smallest thing that can tackle the biggest problem.